Here I Am

I haven’t written in this space for quite a while, but here I am.  It’s been sunny and warm and I’ve been working on other things, and thinking about other things, but here I am, right now, right here.

Today it’s cloudy and on the cusp of rain.  I have my favorite inspirational song playing, and I’m ready to write.

I’m ready to write about the weekend I spent with powerful, beautiful women.  I’m ready to write about creating and the way it makes me feel beautiful and powerful.  I’m ready to write about my powerful and beautiful daughters.  I’m ready to write about Jesse and my love for that powerful and beautiful man.

Here I am.  I am ready.  But the words just aren’t coming.  I can listen to the song that inspires me with its melancholy beauty.  I can read the prayers and songs that were so powerful that weekend.  And still… the words don’t come.

Everything out my window is green and growing and glowing.  The leaves, young and crisp, are all my favorite shades of green.  The skies are the perfect shade of moody gray.

Winter is over and spring is upon us.  I love this time of rebirth and Easter and Novruz and everything being clean and green.  I am excited for days spent in the backyard, harvesting produce, cultivating memories.

But, here I am, sitting on my sofa, wishing for autumn already.  Right now, we are as far from my favorite time of year as we could possibly be. Autumn is when I’m inspired to write, to make, to create, to share.  Autumn is when the view outside my window is perfect with the leaves that are magical, the skies that are full, the light that is right.

This explains my waning creative drive.  My waning inspiration.  Autumn and winter are the days of staying inside, drinking tea, writing, and creating.  Spring and summer are the days of going outside, drinking sun tea, playing, and experiencing.

All of this to explain why I’ve been absent from the blog lately.  I’ve been gone, but here I am, and it feels good.  It feels good to write these mundane, stream of thinking thoughts.  It feels good to think and plan and let to and just be here.  So maybe I will be here more, maybe I’ll be outside.  Either way, here I am, right where I am.