one little word

Productivity

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One of the things I’m choosing this year is to be more productive.  It’s hard to get into a routine since my days are all so different, so it’s been really hard to figure out the best way to be productive.

I have three things this year that are really helping me get stuff done. I have realized that I am all about extrinsic motivation.  If I’m going to do something, I need to get something out of it.

The first thing I’m using is something I also used last year – Elise Blaha’s goal trackers.  I use these to make my goals public and visible.  I get to color in a little circle every time I accomplish something.  It’s ridiculously satisfying to color in the circles, and to step back and see all the colored-in circles.

The next thing I’m using is my Get to Work Book, also from Elise Blaha.  If you need some motivation, go check her out.  She has incredible ideas and is a fantastic writer.  It has taken me a while to figure out how to best use this book for me.  I’m still figuring it out, actually.

Right now I’m using it to make daily to do lists in the daily sections.  One thing I love about the planner is all the extra space for project ideas, little notes, and reflection.

I like using it for lists, but I’ve also seen some amazing ideas on the Instagram account.  Once again, drawing a star on each of my to do items is ridiculously satisfying.

This last one is a new one.  It’s an app called Forest.  I set a timer in the app and if I don’t leave the app before the time is over, I get to grow a tree.  Then all the trees are put into a forest.  This app combines so many of my favorite things – trees, video games, extrinsic motivation, and pretty illustrations.  I use it when I’m trying to get work done.

I also use it when I want to spend time playing with the kids without distraction.  This has been the best part of it, honestly.  When I have Forest set up, I don’t randomly check Instagram and Facebook.   In the end I get a tree, and, even better, I know I have spent my time well.

Dear Daddy,

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Dear Daddy,

Yesterday was your birthday and I’ve been wanting to tell you something.  I write to the girls on their birthdays, but I think it’s important to write to you, too.

I have always admired you, daddy.  You always worked hard to give all of us a wonderful life.  You worked hard, but you were always home for dinner and present in our lives.  On Sunday mornings, I would wait to see you get up, then I’d follow you to the living room so you could read the comics to me.  You were always up to play in the backyard, or play a game of Pente.  You came to my recitals even when it meant missing a track meet.  You taught me how to ride my bike on two wheels.

One of my favorite memories of us is from a bike ride.  I can remember exactly where this conversation took place, right around the corner from where I live today.  We were riding ‘around the block’ and you told me that you hope I will always call you Daddy.  I remember thinking that was absurd that you would even ask.  Of course you’ll always be my daddy.

You have another name now.  You are also Papa, and I am so glad that my girls get to have a Papa like you.  They light up when they see you, and honestly, you light up, too.  You are such a great grandfather.  You get down to their level to play with them.  You spoil them just the right amount.  I know that I can count on you to take wonderful care of them.

Happy birthday, Daddy.  I hope you know how important you are to me, and how much I love you as my Daddy, and as Alma and Harriet’s Papa.

Love,
Carolyn

FEBRUARY 2016: CURRENTLY

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reading Game of Thrones (still) and 10% Happier.

listening to Hamilton all the time.

getting excited to see Book of Mormon this weekend!

thinking about how amazing The Last Five Years was at the Oregon Contemporary Theater.

marveling at the talent that my dear friend Evynne Hollens possesses.

thinking that she should be on Broadway, but not really because I’d miss her.

wanting to go to New York to see Hamilton.

loving love.

sewing lots of hearts and heart type things.

cooking with the sauces I canned last summer.

looking at the Christmas cards we received this year because I just don’t want to take them down.

feeling blessed to have so many lovely friends and family members hanging on our wall.

watching as spring arrives outside.

writing a letter each and every day during February for the Lettermo Month of Letters Challenge (if you want a letter from me, send me an email!).

listening and learning about our candidates because it’s actually 2016 and it’s appropriate to start thinking about such things.

thinking that I’ve come to a decision about for whom I will be voting.

choosing.

CHOOSE February

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I CHOOSE to work as much as possible.

I CHOOSE to sew things for other people and myself.

I CHOOSE to post a new blog each weekday.

I CHOOSE to clean my room everyday.

I CHOOSE to keep trying to get 10,000 steps a day.

I CHOOSE to keep eating a (mostly) Whole30 diet.

I CHOOSE to cook some Azerbaijani food.

I CHOOSE to send a letter everyday.

New Love-ly Mantel

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It’s almost Valentine’s day, so I thought I should put up some love-ly stuff on the mantel.  Get it?

I had the great honor of winning these kissing dogs at the annual Christmas party white elephant gift exchange.  We’ve been going to this party for the past few years, and these dogs always make a showing, being passed from house to house, from closet to closet.  Now that I’ve received these wonderful puppies, I know that I’m really part of the gang.

I think people are usually freaked out by these perfectly loving doggies, but not me, folks.  These canines are getting special front and center treatment this year.  I might not even take them to the gift exchange next year.  They might be mine forever.  Deal with it.

I felt that, since Valentine’s Day is coming up, and since it’s all about love, what better way to show my love for love than by a sculpture of two blue-eyeshadowed dogs in a sweet, loving embrace, gently kissing with peacefully closed eyes?  There is no better way.

Mic drop, am I right?

The Age of the Bully

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I’m going to get political here and I’m going to say it.  Donald Trump is a bully.  He’s a jerk.  He’s sexist.  He’s racist. He’s a liar.  But somehow people love him.

I have an idea about why.

You should know that this is based on my observations in middle schools.  That shouldn’t surprise you since Donald Trump acts even less mature than most middle school aged boys I know.  Much less mature, in fact.

We all remember the bully, don’t we?  That one person who would make fun of other kids for a laugh.  That one person who would systematically target a weaker kid and turn the other kids against him.  When we were kids and saw this situation, we had to make a choice – stand up for the weaker kid, or join the bully.  It’s usually a safer bet to join the bully because then you don’t risk becoming the next target.  We have all done this – it’s part of growing up, figuring out who we are, learning what’s really important.

Fast forward through high school, college and into adulthood.  We are all rational adults, right?  We know who we are and we would all stand up for what we believe in, right?  I’m not so sure.

Our culture is fixated on the anti-hero.  A list of the top TV shows of the past few years reveals something that we all should think about.  Some of these characters are evil, others are simply unlikeable – Don Draper, Walter White, Dexter Morgan, most of the casts in Game of Thrones, Girls, Orange is the New Black, VEEP, House of Cards… I could go on.  Why do we continue to watch these shows?  Why do we care?

We watch these shows for entertainment value, right?  But, what if it has gone further?  What if by watching so many horrible decisions we have become immune to it?

What I’m trying to say is that we’re still that kid in middle school who chooses to side with the bully instead of standing up for the victim.  We have become so desensitized to the fact that bad people actually are bad.  We now look at a bad person and have to question whether or not they are bad, funny, misunderstood, or something else.

I imagine that many of the people who support Trump do so because of this dynamic.  He’s saying horrible things, and people need to make the choice to either laugh with him or fight him.  He’s reckless with his words, and people are eating them up.

Will he become the Republican candidate?  Quite possibly.  Will he become our next president?  I quite hope not.  I have faith that those Republicans who lean more to the left will help prevent that from happening.

I’m not sure our country could survive a Trump presidency.  Other countries will shun us.  Money will be wasted on wars and walls.  We, as a country, will solidify our role as a powerful global bully.

Let’s all work together to not let that happen.

“I Choose You” – a One Little Word Theme Song

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I like to have theme songs.  Music has always been a huge part of my life, and right now, Sara Bareilles is a huge part of my life.  (I’ve written about her here and here and here and here and here).

This song keeps popping up on my Pandora and Spotify stations, and it is spot on for my One Little Word – CHOOSE.  I mean, “I Choose You” is a love song, but I’m listening to it as a love song to my self.  There are some lyrics that are particularly perfect for how I’m feeling about CHOOSE for 2016:

And I believe in something again
My whole heart
Will be yours forever
This is a beautiful start
To a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose you
I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose you

I’m choosing, this year, to write a lifelong love letter to myself.  To make choices that are good for my body and soul.  I’m choosing to do things that will affect and impact my life for more than just 2016.  That’s the magic of these Little Words.  You never know where they will take you, or what they have in store for you.

We are not perfect
We’ll learn from our mistakes
And as long as it takes
I will prove my love to you
I am not scared of the elements
I am under-prepared, but I am willing
And even better


Let the bough break, let it come down crashing
Let the sun fade out to a dark sky
I can’t say I’d even notice it was absent
Cause I could live by the light in your eyes
I’ll unfold before you
Would have strung together
The very first words
Of a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose you
I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose you

There was a time when I would have believed them
If they told me you could not come true
Just love’s illusion
But then you found me and everything changed
And I believe in something again
My whole heart
Will be yours forever
This is a beautiful start
To a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose you
I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose you

We are not perfect
We’ll learn from our mistakes
And as long as it takes
I will prove my love to you
I am not scared of the elements
I am under-prepared, but I am willing
And even better
I get to be the other half of you

Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose you
I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose you

CHOOSE – Making it Public with Goal Trackers

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Like last year, I bought these goal trackers from Elise.  I printed out seven of them and posted them by my front door.

I wanted to think of a few things that I can try to do during the year that will help me show that I’m making good choices.  Some are the same as last year – Wrist Party, Clean Room, Daily Chores, Sending Letters.  I also added Savour, Whole 30 and CHOOSE.

Some of these things I did really well last year and want to continue them, others I didn’t quite get, so I’m trying again.  Progress is greater than perfection!

Sorry these photos are potato quality… I’m not getting good light by my front door these days with all the fog.

One Little Word 2016 – CHOOSE

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This will be my fourth One Little Word.  FOCUS from 2009, GRATITUDE in 2014, STRONG from 2015 all still speak to me in one way or another.  I love how these words carry through from one year to the next.

During December, I have been thinking about what word is speaking to me right now.  What word will help me focus in on what I need in 2016?  Where do I need something?

The word that kept popping up in my mind was CHOOSE.  Right now, and this could change, it means that I need to stop and make good choices.

There are too many days when I sit down during naptime and end up wasting the entire time doing stupid things like watching stupid shows.  I need to make different choices that will positively impact myself and my family.  Like clean the kitchen.  Or create something.  Or write for a while.  Or do laundry.  Or work on my license classes.  Or exercise.  There are always better options.

But, sometimes the best option is to sit down and waste time.  Sometimes that’s the choice that should be made.  But, I want to be more aware of those choices and aware of why I’m doing the things I do.

Those are the little choices, the daily choices that can change how I spend a day.  But, I know that these Little Words seep into more than just the days.  They don’t seem to be making a difference, then, poof I realize the huge impact they have made.  These little days, these little choices all add up to something much more important.

So, I choose CHOOSE as my word for 2016.  Here we go!

Strong – One Little Word – 2015

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My word for 2015 was STRONG.  I wanted to increase my strength in many ways.  I wanted to show my girls what a strong woman looks like.  I wanted to strengthen my body, my mind, and my relationships.

I had plans of getting my wrist party everyday.  I wanted to do a sun salutation everyday.  I wanted to floss more often.  I didn’t do all of these things.  I didn’t increase my physical strength much at all.

The thing about STRONG as my word was that it was hard to find tangible ways to incorporate it into my daily life.  Not like GRATITUDE in 2014.

When I started thinking about this post, I thought it would be a post about how I failed my word this year.

Then I kept thinking… I thought about this past year.  Let me tell you, this past year was a doozy.

We started the year with Jesse in a new job.  A new job that, from the start, wasn’t a good fit for our family.  He was working long hours – going to work before the girls were awake, coming home for dinner, and going back to work after the girls were in bed.

The company had some internal problems, and Jesse’s position ended up being eliminated.  I have never been more relieved to hear about someone being laid off.  I knew that a period of unemployment would be hard on our family, but I also knew that it wouldn’t be long, and that Jesse needed a rest.

I worked as much as possible during that month, but also took some days off so we could be together as a family.

After only about a month of unemployment, Jesse was offered an amazing job at the University.

Looking back at the first half of the year, I remember the stress, the tensity, the long hours, the time spent missing Jesse, and know that I was strong.  I was strong to be able to support Jesse during those months.  Strong to support the girls.  Strong to keep my shit together.  Those months seem like forever ago, the feel like a dream.

Actually, now it feels like we’re in the dream.  Jesse loves his job.  He loves where he works.  I love visiting him there.  I’m so proud to tell people what he does and where he works.  His job is making a difference in the world.  He’s part of something important and worthwhile.

This year, Jesse and I also celebrated being married for a whole decade.  We took the time to renew our vows in front of our daughters, our friends, and family.  The past ten years haven’t been easy, but they have been fun.  I feel the strength of our marriage, and the strength of our commitment to each other and to our family.

Anyhow, all this just to say that I have surprised myself with the strength I’ve shown this past year.  My strength didn’t show itself in the ways that I expected, but it has shown itself in ways that were necessary.  We have come through a tough time, and we’ve come our ahead.  If that isn’t strong, I don’t know what is.

Photos by Katrina Henry, Edited by Me