gave thanks.

Toxin Free Laundry is the Best Laundry

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I’ve been working on eliminating the toxic chemicals in our house for a few years now.  I started thinking about all the toxins we come into contact with during the day – shampoos, conditioners, soaps, detergents, dish soap, floor polish, the list goes on and on and it’s really overwhelming.

Things have really changed this year, and I’ve been able to eliminate so much in the past few months.  It all really kicked into gear when I got my starter kit of essential oils from Young Living.  Not only did I get the oils to just make the house smell good, but I’ve also started making my own shampoo using four simple ingredients, I can mop the floor with no toxins at all, I make my own sugar scrub that I use for shaving and exfoliating, plus so much more.

My favorite thing I’ve done, though, is eliminate the toxic chemicals that I was using in my laundry.  It’s really intense when you think about how much our laundry, and the chemicals used, can affect our daily life.  We are constantly wearing clothes that were washed in the chemicals, sleeping in sheets with chemicals, washing our faces with washcloths, drying off after showers, etc, etc, etc.

I found this website: The Environmental Working Group, that breaks down things and grades them based on the chemicals and toxins in them.  I found my old laundry soap, the one that I bought because it was supposed to be chemical free and natural (the one I bought to wash our diapers, the things that are closest to our baby’s skin) – and it had a D grade.  That isn’t good.

Now I make my own toxin free laundry soap and I’ve been really happy with it.  It has simple, natural ingredients, that when individually entered into the EWG website come up clean.  Here’s another surprise:  Borax scores really poorly, in face it scores an F.  This is something that a lot of people put into their homemade laundry soap but it has concerns for reproductive health among other things.  So, I skip the borax.

My recipe is super easy and lasts a long time.

  • 1 bar of Castile soap, 5 oz
  • 1 cup washing soda
  • 1/2 cup baking soda
  • 1/2 cup citric acid
  • 1/4 cup coarse sea salt
  • 10-20 drops essential oil (optional)

Just grate the soap, add the rest of the ingredients and store in an airtight container.  I use 1-2 Tbs per load.  For the essential oils, I like to add Purification, Lavender, whatever smells good.

Another huge contributor to chemicals in laundry are those stain removers.  We’ve always had a bottle of that on the shelf and the amount of perfume has always bothered me.  I looked up the kind we’ve used and guess what – D.  It may get the stain out, but at what cost?  A moderate concern for respiratory distress, asthma, developmental and reproductive problems and cancer.  Doesn’t seem worth it to me.

I have another solution.  I bought Young Living’s Thieves Laundry Soap a couple months ago, but since I’m cheap and love a DIY, I only use it as a stain remover.  I just take about a tablespoon of the laundry soap, rub it into the stain and throw it into the washing machine (sometimes I let it soak for a bit).  I don’t even add more of my homemade soap because a 1 Tbs of the Thieves Laundry Soap is all you need for a whole load of laundry, thus that tablespoon is doubling as stain remover and laundry soap.  That’s music to my deal-loving ears.  Also EWG hasn’t graded Thieves yet, but I went through the ingredients list and most things are A and a couple are B, so I’d guess it’s around an A-, which is way better than the D I was using before.

Want proof that this method works?  When Alma got her head wound and my shirt was covered in blood that set up for days, the Thieves took it right out.  Blood.  Gone.  Harriet’s favorite jellyfish shirt, covered in soaked in, dried hot chocolate:

And after treating it with Thieves Laundry Soap and washed like normal:

So, there you have it.  Go to the EWG webpage and enter in your laundry detergent and dryer sheets and stain remover and decide if you want to keep using them.

I love this toxin free laundry soap and that I’m not leaching toxic chemicals into our clothes and towels and sheets.  I love that my clothes get clean.  I love that we’re saving money.

Oh, here’s a bonus!  If you sign up for Young Living this month (September), not only will you be getting a diffuser, eleven bottles of essential oils, lots of other good stuff, but they’re also throwing in a bottle of Thieves Laundry Soap.  There’s really no reason not to try it now!

Click here to get started with Young Living!

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Our Third First Day of School

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Today was different than other first days.  The girls were excited.  Our time at home was relaxed and slow.  We got out of the house a few minutes later than we’d wanted.  We showed up to a very full parking lot.  We got some rushed photos near the school sign.  We went into Alma’s classroom, where the circle time had already started.  I told her to go find her name on the floor without a hug or a kiss or anything.  She sat by her teacher and got to be the first calendar helper.  We waved and exchanged some excited, nervous smiles.  We took a grumpy Harriet out to the playground, where her class begins their day.  We dropped off bike helmets and extra clothes.  We showed Harriet how she can still look in Alma’s window to wave to her.  Then we left.  On our way down the hallway, we could see Harriet, peeking in at Alma, no longer grumpy.  We walked back to campus together.  Now I am sitting at a table in near silence, enjoying the solitude, looking forward to nine whole months of time that I know the kids are being enriched, socialized, educated, and loved.  And looking forward to nine whole months of time that I spend by myself, thinking, planning, writing, reading, walking, or with teenagers, working, teaching, talking, learning.  Man do I love the first day of school.

 

August 2016, In Seconds

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Dear Harriet, Age Three

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Dear Harriet, My Three Year Old,

Man, has this been a year?  You started school, you really started talking, you grew and changed and became a little girl.  You have figured out how to fight back – fight back against Alma when she tries to get too older sibling on you, fight back against us when we tell you that you can’t have hot cococo all day everyday, you fight back against injustices on the playground.  People always tell me they’re impressed with your fortitude.  You don’t let people push you around.  You are strong and brave, little one.

 

You are scrappy, and I love that about you.  We are both second-borns, so you and I, kid, understand what it’s like to live that way.  We understand that sometimes it’s important to bug your older sibling until they fight back, then to go running to your parent so the sibling gets in trouble.  But, kid, you need to understand that I see right through it when you do it.  I see right through it, but I still love it because I get you.  I feel you.  All I have to say about it is: sorry Alma (and sorry Dan).

 

But you are also very dear.  One of the things you say all the time these days is, “Excuse me mommy (or Grams, daddy, Papa, Nana, Grandpa, Grammy… whomever).  I wuv you.”  It’s always a surprise because I always assume that you’re going to be asking for more hot cococo, then you turn everything upside-down with your sweetness.  You can tell me that you wuv me all day everyday, that’s fine with me.

 

When you’re into something, you’ll spend so much time with it.  When we went camping, you were all about building the fairy village.  At the playground with your friends, you’ve been known to build very cool towers out of pine cones and sticks, or to fill up a hollow tree with rotten apples (side-note:  rotten apples are your favorite things.  When we tell you to think of something happy, you think about rotten apples) – all the while directing your friends and making sure they’re doing it right.  You’re a leader and creative and I think that’s really cool.

 

Here’s my promise to you this year:  I will cherish you.  I will be gentle with you.  I will be kind to you.  I will love you and I will tell you so everyday.  I will hold you.  I will let you grow.  I will laugh with you.  I will cry with you.  I will cherish you.

All my love,

Mommy

 

July 2016, In Seconds

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Forest Fairies

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Sometimes, when you go camping in the forest, the fairies find you.  I mean, this probably usually happens, but sometimes you see the evidence.

During our camping trip, the girls found beaded necklaces hanging in a tree by the fairy log.  As Alma put it, “This is AMAZING!”

Alma and Harriet wrote them a thank you note and let them know about our fairy door.  Lately Alma’s been pretty sad that the fairies have never visited us in the door.  I suggested that maybe the fairies just didn’t know about the door.  Alma had me write our address and that they should fly safely since it’s a long trip from Wind River.

During our trip, Alma lost her necklace in the rocks.  Luckily when we got home, the fairies had been there.  They left a note thanking Alma and Harriet for telling them about the fairy door and even returned Alma’s lost necklace.

There’s always time for a little bit of magic, right?

Family Camping Weekend 2016

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This year our Family Weekend consisted of 3 nights in tents, countless s’mores, a perfect river, campfires, fairy houses, one head injury, games, biographies by Grams, 10 kids under 10, 10 adults over 30, a surprisingly pleasant vault toilet, one Trump pinata, a beautiful forest, nice weather, fun, and, of course, family.

The kids spent so much time moving rocks and sticks around in this area.  They worked so well together building fairy houses and houses for all of the action figures. 

The Wind River was perfect for us.  We had a great beach right next to our campsite, with lots of big rocks in the shallow, warm river. We all worked together to reroute the river to create waterfalls and a wading pool for the little ones.

We spent lots of time cooking, eating, talking, and singing around the campfire.

One of the highlights was the pinata.  Each family was asked to bring some sort of entertainment.

Of course, the kids had a wonderful time with their cousins.

And I always love when I get to spend so much time with this handsome man.

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June 2016, In Seconds

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I’m finally getting around to uploading June In Seconds.  Here it is!

Rape Fallacies

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Rape Fallacy #1: Alcohol causes rape.

False.  Obviously.  Here’s my anecdotal evidence.  I have been drunk.  I have been around drunk men whilst being drunk.  I have never been raped.  I understand that this is untrue for many people, but this is my story.

We cannot blame alcohol for rape.  We just can’t do it.  Sure, sometimes people make horrible, terrible, life-changing decisions when they are drunk, that is true.  Lately, the conversation has been taking things to the extreme.  It feels like this is what I’m reading in the media:  Men can’t control themselves when they are drunk.  Men will rape and assault women when they are drunk.  Men can’t be held responsible for things they do when they’re drunk because they’re drunk.  What?

If I were a man, I would be outraged by this notion.  I would be angry and fighting the media on this.  Do we really believe that men are so weak and powerless that they can’t control themselves at all?  What kind of a message is this sending to our children?  To our sons, we’re saying two things – 1. don’t ever drink because if you do, you’ll probably rape someone. 2. it’s okay if you rape someone, just be sure you’re drunk when you do it.

The idea that this is just something that everyone does at parties isn’t a defense.  It’s an excuse, and a horrible one.  And it’s entirely untrue.  I know that this behavior is pervasive, but I refuse to believe that every single man has assaulted a woman, and that every single boy will grow up to assault a woman.  We can’t teach our children that this is the case.  We have to teach our children that they can be better than this, and that they should expect better than this.

Rape Fallacy #2:  Alcohol invites people to rape you.

Do I really even need to write about this?  It is so obviously untrue and unfair and absurd.  When a woman is so drunk that she can’t agree enthusiastically to having sex, the people in her company refrain from having sex with her.  Period.  End of discussion.

In fact, nothing invites rape.  Nothing at all.  There is no such thing as non-consentual sex because, that, by definition, is rape.  If someone is inviting sexual contact, then it is just sex.  We need to erase the terms ‘consensual sex’ and ‘non-consentual sex’ from our vocabularies and replace them with the terms ‘sex’ and ‘rape’ because that more accurately describes what it means to invite sex and to be assaulted.

Rape Fallacy #3:  Kids are too young to hear about consent.

No, I am not telling my 2 and 4 year olds about what’s in the news and all over my Facebook feed.  They don’t need to hear about that.  It won’t help them.

Yes, I am teaching them about consent and good choices.  Since birth, we have been teaching our girls about consent.  When I am playing with my kids and tickling them, the moment they say “no” or “stop,”  I stop.  When my kids are playing together and one of them says “no” or “stop,” I make sure that the other kid stops.  If they are doing something to me that I don’t like, even if it’s just poking my arm, or grabbing my belly, or climbing into my lap at a bad time, and I ask them to stop, I say, “This is my body and I don’t like what you’re doing to it.  You need to stop.  You need to respect my body.”  I use the word consent.  I use the word respect.  I am clear and firm.  I tell them to respect each other’s bodies, and to respect my body, and to respect their own body.

I have friends who have sons who are doing them same thing, and I appreciate it more than I can even express.  I know little boys who know the word consent and understand what it means.

If we wait to teach our kids about consent until puberty, or high school, or when we drop them off at college, it will be too late.  It has to be something that is ingrained in them from birth.  It has to be second nature.  For both boys and girls.

Rape Fallacy #4:  Privilege has nothing to do with this.

If this rapist were black, or Latino, or anything other than white, he would be spending much more time in prison.  We wouldn’t have seen his smiling, successful photos all over the internet – we would have seen his mugshot within hours of his arrest, or other photos of him that represent him as a ‘thug’ or some other derogatory term.  The conversations would be different – the media wouldn’t even care what his friends and family had to say about him, the media would be digging up dirt, not presenting excuses.

If this rapist wasn’t wealthy, his lawyers would have presented the evidence (actual evidence) that would have told a very different story than the one that was presented.  If he, and the judge, hadn’t both been Stanford students, the punishment would have been different.  If the rapist hadn’t been a golden boy with a bright future, the judge wouldn’t have been as worried about ruining that future.

Do I even need to say anything about male privilege?  The whole rape culture is built on and sustained by male privilege.

 

Truth: I refuse to raise my daughters in a world where their physical and emotional wellbeing can easily be thrown away – literally and figuratively – behind a dumpster.  

Let’s change it.

May 2016, In Seconds

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