My word for 2015 was STRONG. I wanted to increase my strength in many ways. I wanted to show my girls what a strong woman looks like. I wanted to strengthen my body, my mind, and my relationships.
I had plans of getting my wrist party everyday. I wanted to do a sun salutation everyday. I wanted to floss more often. I didn’t do all of these things. I didn’t increase my physical strength much at all.
The thing about STRONG as my word was that it was hard to find tangible ways to incorporate it into my daily life. Not like GRATITUDE in 2014.
When I started thinking about this post, I thought it would be a post about how I failed my word this year.
Then I kept thinking… I thought about this past year. Let me tell you, this past year was a doozy.
We started the year with Jesse in a new job. A new job that, from the start, wasn’t a good fit for our family. He was working long hours – going to work before the girls were awake, coming home for dinner, and going back to work after the girls were in bed.
The company had some internal problems, and Jesse’s position ended up being eliminated. I have never been more relieved to hear about someone being laid off. I knew that a period of unemployment would be hard on our family, but I also knew that it wouldn’t be long, and that Jesse needed a rest.
I worked as much as possible during that month, but also took some days off so we could be together as a family.
After only about a month of unemployment, Jesse was offered an amazing job at the University.
Looking back at the first half of the year, I remember the stress, the tensity, the long hours, the time spent missing Jesse, and know that I was strong. I was strong to be able to support Jesse during those months. Strong to support the girls. Strong to keep my shit together. Those months seem like forever ago, the feel like a dream.
Actually, now it feels like we’re in the dream. Jesse loves his job. He loves where he works. I love visiting him there. I’m so proud to tell people what he does and where he works. His job is making a difference in the world. He’s part of something important and worthwhile.
This year, Jesse and I also celebrated being married for a whole decade. We took the time to renew our vows in front of our daughters, our friends, and family. The past ten years haven’t been easy, but they have been fun. I feel the strength of our marriage, and the strength of our commitment to each other and to our family.
Anyhow, all this just to say that I have surprised myself with the strength I’ve shown this past year. My strength didn’t show itself in the ways that I expected, but it has shown itself in ways that were necessary. We have come through a tough time, and we’ve come our ahead. If that isn’t strong, I don’t know what is.
Photos by Katrina Henry, Edited by Me
Carolyn, you had a hell of a year! You were absolutely strong in the ways you needed to be, well put. Sometimes life hands us the wrong challenge. But you totally rose to meet it. I have experienced similar things, and they were the hardest times of my life. Hope you feel proud of 2015!