Parenting Archives - Page 9 of 10

Cleaning Schedule That I Can Stick To

Posted by andthenthey on January 29, 2014 5 Comments

Since I am a stay-at-home mom these days, I’ve been trying to take on as much of the house work as I can (vacuuming will always be a Jesse job). Pinterest is full of ideas for how to organize house cleaning, and I have tried a few. Here’s one I tried. My problem is it is so boring. This schedule worked for the first couple weeks because it was new. I was almost excited every day to wake up and see what I was going to do that day. But that wore off. I need more variety in my life!

I came up with another idea. Here’s how it worked. I took some time to think about what needed to get done in our house and wrote a list of those things. Then I estimated how often each chore should be completed. Then I gave each chore a letter, and filled those letters into a 30 item list. It sounds confusing, but you can see how I did it below. On the left are the tasks (dust living room, mop, etc), then the key of how often they should be done (w = weekly, 1.5 w = every week and a half, 2 w = every other week). Then I just filled them in. I hope this is clear…

I took my ‘key’ and filled in the tasks on my final copy. I also added that every morning I will empty the dishwasher, wipe the bathroom counters, and make our bed, and every evening we will load the dishwasher, wash dishes, wipe counters, sweep dining room, and straighten the living room. Jesse and I do the evening chores together after the girls are in bed.

This seems to work for me. It keeps me on my toes, and doesn’t feel like I’m doing boring housework all day long. Most of these tasks can be completed in about 1/2 hour. I can do it while the girls are awake, and even have Alma help with some of them. And if I miss a day, it’s easy to catch up on following days, or just let it got until the next time. I used to do some of these so seldom that if I only dust once a month, it still feels (and looks) much better than before I started using a schedule!

Another thing I like to do to keep myself motivated and productive is to have a few things that I plan on doing each day. These can be fun, like coffee with a friend. They can also be work or house related. I write the task on a post-it, and recycle it when I’m done. It makes me feel like I’m not just wasting my days away, even if I never even leave the house.

These little things help me so much when it comes to avoiding feeling shut-in or bored. It feels so great to get things done, and these little ideas help me stay busy and on track!

Rainy Hike

Posted by andthenthey on January 28, 2014 Leave a Comment

It’s the first rainy day here in months. Of course, we decided to plan a little hike. That’s the way we roll around here.

We went on a very short hike through the woods up near my parents’ house. They were excited to let Alma explore the nature around her.

Harriet and I were there, too. She was excited to explore my necklace with her mouth.

I have so many memories of playing around storm drains. I love that Alma was just as fascinated with them. She loved all the bubbles floating around in the water. “Bye-bye, bubbles.”

And of course Grams’ plants needed to be watered. This girl cracks me up.

Sleeping/ Sleep Training/ Sleeping?

Posted by andthenthey on January 13, 2014 4 Comments

New babies love to sleep. It seems like that’s all they do. So why are parents of new babies so exhausted? New babies have some weird, mysterious way of sleeping just enough that the look like they are always asleep, but waking up just enough that their parents get no sleep at all. It’s just the way it is. Tricky, sneaky babies.

Luckily I no longer have a new baby. My baby is an old baby, which means that I get to do the tricking. I have successfully ~~tricked her into~~ taught her to sleep through the night, and to have pretty regular and kick-ass naps (are you kidding me? Right when I typed this, I heard Harriet wake up…. damn hubris!) during the day.

My main advice in all things parenting is to not read any books, or if you simply must a book, please, please, please only read one. Books are notorious for giving conflicting opinions and making you think you are doing things right, while simultaneously making you think you are killing your child. Yuck. My second piece of advice is to never listen to advice. It only messes with your head.

If you want to know how we trained our daughters, I will refer you to this blog post. I know some people think it is mean to sleep train babies in this way. I would say to them that it is mean not to, but I’m not going to say that. It’s just what I would say. But I’m obviously not saying that. I’m not trying to start any ‘mommy wars’ here, just trying to share my truth and reality. If you don’t agree with this, feel free to close the browser, or tab, or phone, or what-have-you. I’m not trying to change your mind, just trying to share what worked for both my girls. Besides, if you feel strongly that what I did is wrong, your mind will never be changed, now will it? Nope. And anyway, that is totally not the point of this post.

The point of the post is to deal with my feeling after having sleep trained. I love that Harriet has learned this amazingly important life skill. I love that Jesse and I were able to teach her this amazingly important life skill. I have no regrets as to how or when we sleep trained both girls. I am confident in all of this. I am proud of this. I am proud that Jesse and I are able to teach and guide our kids. I am proud of my daughters for taking this small, no huge, step towards independence.

With Alma, we had her in bed with us every single night until she was four months old. I loved sleeping with her, and being able to nurse her whenever either of us wanted to. I loved the connection and cuddles. But I was so ready to move on to the next step when she turned 4 months old and we got the go-ahead from our pediatrician. I don’t remember feeling sad to have her out of the bed in those first few weeks.

With Harriet we had her in the co-sleeper, up against our bed every night until she was about 4 1/2 months old. I loved this, too. It was great having her close enough that I could nurse easily. I loved being able to hold her little hand while we slept. I loved hearing her little baby noises, and watching her little baby breathing. Again, I was so ready to move on to the next step. But, this time I have been a little sad in the weeks that followed.

Maybe it’s because she’s our last baby.

When I go to bed, and turn off the light, it takes me forever to fall asleep. I don’t know if it’s that I miss the white noise of her breathing, or the nightlight that is now in her room, or something more visceral.

All I know for sure is that it is called sleep training for a reason. Harriet seems to be trained, but I’m still learning. I guess that is what it means to be a parent. And that can’t be found in any book.

Chalkboard Car Table For Alma

Posted by andthenthey on January 6, 2014 1 Comment

One of the things we did for Alma’s second birthday was make her a fun chalkboard table for her cars.

This project actually started last summer and went through a few different changes along the way. It started with this crazy dirt-and-rock-filled-brick-planter in our sunroom:

This planter has been annoying me since we moved in 3 years ago. I’ve never known what to do with it. Since our bunny lives in the sunroom, I couldn’t just plant some plants in it – he would eat them. For a while he liked to dig in the box, but that ended up making a huge mess. The dirt in the planter is a really fine dust that coats the whole room when dug up. Add a curious toddler and the sunroom was never clean.

My mom actually suggested that we do something with the planter. I think I had just given up at this point. Her first idea was to dig out all the dirt and fill it with something more fun (and less dirty) to play with. When she came over and started digging, she realized how horrible the dirt was after inhaling the super-fine dust. We started brainstorming again. The next idea was to cover it with a board and paint a scene on it for Alma’s cars. You know those old carpets that have the town and roads on them? That idea, but in paint. After agreeing that this was the perfect idea, I thought it would be even cooler to just use chalkboard paint. I wanted the girls to be able to create their own towns, or whatever, not just be stuck with the town I painted for them. Imagination and creativity are always encouraged here!

Jesse and my mom went and bought all the supplies, and Jesse quickly built the board using plywood and quarter-round strips. We countersunk the nails, and filled the holes with spackle so everything would be smooth. Then the board sat on the planter for a couple months.

Finally, I decided Alma’s birthday was the perfect reason to finish this project, so I sanded everything down and started priming the board.

I used two coats of primer, then sanded it all down again. I wanted to make sure the wood was really sealed because the chalkboard paint is expensive and I didn’t want to waste it by having it soak into the wood. Also, the directions say to prime and sand bare wood.

Then came 3 or 4 thin coats of the chalkboard paint. I can’t remember, but I’m pretty sure I did 4. I wanted smooth, even coverage, so I did really nice, thin coats. Below you see what it looked like halfway through the second coat.

Then back out to the sunroom to cure for a few days. I already liked how it looked so much! No more dirt!

I followed the directions on the can to prepare the chalkboard by rubbing the side of a piece of chalk all over the whole thing and wiping off with a dry cloth. Our original idea was to attach the whole thing to the wall, but I sort of love how I can tip it up and brush the chalk dust into the dirt. We might need to attach it if Alma or Harriet start lifting it up all the time, but it’s pretty heavy and I don’t think they know it opens.

I’m not sure who will like it more, me, or Alma. I had a lot of fun writing a birthday message, and drawing a little road for her new cars. I’m excited to work on my chalkboard-writing skills.

Alma definitely does love it, though! She seems to like the drawing part more than the car part these days, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate that it is a fun, versatile toy out in the sunroom. I also have a ton of the paint leftover, so I’m already thinking about what else could use some creativity. Chalkboard all the things! Uh oh….

ps – I am linking up with a link party on I Heart Nap Time!

A Love Letter to My Two-Year-Old

Posted by andthenthey on January 3, 2014 Leave a Comment

Dear Alma,

Today you turn two years old. Two years ago, you gave me the best thing in the world. You gave me you. You made me a mom. You made me your mom. That is important for you to know. I love being your mom. You are best two-year-old there ever was. As your mom, I’m supposed to think that, but believe me, Alma, it is true. I have never known anything to be more true than that. You are the best. You are beautiful, Alma.

Your mind is the best. Right now you are talking to yourself, or your dolls, or your dreams, in your crib. You should be napping, but I love to hear your sweet voice through your door. The nap will come soon enough, when you decide to lay your head on your pillow and fall asleep. As a two-year-old, I see things in you that weren’t there last year. You are able to play by yourself so well. Your imagination astonishes me everyday. You create little games, and turn toys into different things all the time. Your creativity is beautiful, Alma.

Your body is the best. Your body has grown so much this year. You are really learning how to use your strong, graceful, energetic body. You love dancing so much these days. Ever since we saw the Nutcracker at the library, you are a regular little ballerina. You ask for music all the time. When the music comes on, you dance. I love watching everything about how you dance. You get such a serious face, or sometimes a proud little grin. You control your body as you mimic what you saw the dancers do. I can tell that in your mind, you look just like them. I love how you seamlessly go between the soft moves of the Sugar Plum Fairy, to the sword thrusting moves of the Mouse King. And you can jump! Boy, how you can jump! Your body is beautiful, Alma.

Your brain is the best. You learn new words everyday. The words you’ve known for a long time are starting to come out of your little mouth, in your most amazing voice. You are starting to learn your colors. You call me Mom or Mama. Your dad is Daddy or Dada or somethings Jesse. Harriet is Hathhh with your tongue sticking out. You love to look at books. You love to read them yourself, making up amazing stories in your own little language. You like to tell these stories to Harriet. You can follow my directions. You are quick to figure things out, like how to use your blocks, unlock Nana’s cell phone, buckle your high chair straps. Your brain is beautiful, Alma

Your love is the best. I have seen your love in such an incredible way this year. When you met your sister, I think your heart must have grown a few sizes. The way you look at her, especially now that she’s starting to be more fun, is astonishing. You love to see Harriet looking at you, watching you, smiling at you. I can tell you love having Harriet on your team. Your love is beautiful, Alma.

You are the best. You are so, so beautiful, Alma. I am so excited to see the ways you will grow more beautiful this year, Alma.

Love,

Your Mommy

From Sisters to Friends

Posted by andthenthey on December 3, 2013 1 Comment

When we brought Harriet home from the hospital, I wasn’t sure how Alma would react. When I was pregnant with Harriet, whenever anyone asked me how I was preparing Alma, I would feel the tears very close to the surface. I was so sad for her. I was mourning the fact that she would be losing some of our love and attention.

I would picture her little heart breaking as our hearts transitioned from loving just her, to loving another. I asked everyone if it was really, truly possible to love another baby as much, and still love Alma as much as I always had. I couldn’t understand that it was possible. I couldn’t understand how Alma would deal with losing some of my love – because that was the only way I could fathom the transfer of love onto the second child.

It was confusing to me, so I imagined it was undecipherable to Alma’s 20 month old mind. How could we prepare my baby to understand that there was another baby growing in my belly, and soon she would come out and be real? There was no way.

I totally cried as we left Alma with my parents, and headed to the hospital. I felt like I was losing something – losing her.

But, as with all things concerning love, I was wildly mistaken. I was over-thinking it. I had Harriet, and instantly loved her as much as I have ever loved Alma – just like I was told I would. When I saw Alma again, I still loved her just as much as ever. Somehow, despite all my ideas to the contrary, my heart had enough room for both my girls.

And Alma? Alma got a sister. She came in, saw Harriet in her swing, and didn’t seem at all confused about the situation. She went right up to her and seemed to welcome her. Somehow she knew – she knew – this was her sister.

Now Harriet is three months old and I am constantly amazed at their evolving relationship. While we certainly have our moments when I think Alma would rather have all our attention – or, rather that Harriet not get much of our attention – she is generally a very good big sister. If Harriet is crying, Alma will run over and try to help her. She will give her her pacifier, or her blanket, or just touch her cheek. Harriet’s eyes are on Alma if she is anywhere near by, and Alma gets a lot of Harriet’s sweet smiles.

I think Alma is figuring out that Harriet will be a playmate someday. She will crawl up next to Harriet when she is playing on the floor. She will try to show Harriet how to use the toys on her playmat. She will share her toys with Harriet (I often find toys tucked into Harriet’s swing and carseat). She gets it.

I was so busy worrying about how Alma would react to losing our love, that I forgot to imagine how she would react to gaining the love of her sister. I am just starting to see glimmers of their sweet friendship developing, and I am so excited to see how strong it will grow.

Daughters

Posted by andthenthey on October 3, 2013 1 Comment

I’ve been inspired by Elise Blaha Cripe’s weekly letters to her baby daughter. She beautifully and openly puts to words what it means to her to be a mother, and how difficult and beautiful her experience has been. Her most recent letter talks about the pain and anticipation of not being able to help and heal all her daughter’s future pains.

Today Harriet got her first shots, and Alma got her first shot that she will remember. Until today, Alma has always happily laid down and gotten her shots without showing any realization of what was coming. Today she watched Harriet get her shots, then when her dad put her on the table, it was clear she knew what was coming. Big, sad tears rolled down her face. It is easy to ease Harriet’s pain these days. I can nurse any sadness from her. I can’t do that for Alma anymore. I have to rely on hugs and cuddles, and, as Elise wrote about, there will come a time when even those will stop working for my girls.

I feel like I have a lot to say about what it means to have daughters, but right now I’m having an impossible time finding the words. I want to revisit these thoughts, but for now, I’ll borrow the words of Sarah Kay and her beautiful poem, “B”

“If I should have a daughter, instead of mom, she’s going to call me Point B. Cause that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me.”

“And she’s going to learn that this life will hit you – hard – in the face and wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.”

“When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly, and the very people you want to save are the people standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say ‘thank you.’ Cause there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.”

Summer Goal # 5

Posted by andthenthey on August 21, 2012 1 Comment

To the beach.

We woke up on Sunday morning and decided it was a lovely day for a trip to the beach. I love the beach and the ocean more than almost anything. I didn’t want Alma to make it to 8 months without having seen it! Since it’s only about an hour away, we just did it!

Alma was fascinated with watching the waves come up on us. I held her and walked into the ocean just up to my ankles and she loved it. She also loved it when we would dig in the sand. She didn’t get a chance to dig herself (we’ll save that until she stops putting everything into her mouth), but thought it was pretty cool when we did it.

Summer List

Posted by andthenthey on June 27, 2012 1 Comment

1. Read 5 Books (at least). Here’s what’s at the top of my list:

These are the five books I have on hold for my Nook through the public library. Gotta love free reading! I’ve also just joined a book club, so we’ll see what that will bring me!

2. Read Alma all her books. I seem to be in a rut with Alma’s books. She was given so many books when she was born and we haven’t gotten to many of them. I tend to read a couple of my favorites over and over to her, but I’m sure she’d enjoy some variety.

3. Sew 3 dresses + some. I am making three dresses for a secret project, but I also want to try some of the many dresses I’ve pinned on Pinterest.

4. Do push-ups and sit-ups ALL. THE. TIME. Jesse and I tried to do 100 Pushups a couple summer ago, but I don’t think we made it. Time for the second attempt. I also want to do 10 minutes of ab work every other night.

5. Take Alma to the coast. Can it be true we still haven’t done this? Terrible, I know.

6. Write 4 letters. I got this idea from Elizabeth and thought it was a lovely idea. I’ve really been meaning to write more letters anyway.

7. Swim ALL. THE. TIME. Wherever I can, whenever I can. I’m hoping to get to the pool a few times this summer, and to spend some time in a river or a lake. I love swimming more than being on land.

8. Hike a mountain. Luckily I am surrounded.

9. Try 10 new recipes. Another Pinterest challenge. I’m going to try to focus on using whole foods and cutting refined and processed ingredients.

10. Blog whenever I do any of these things. This might be the hardest of all.

Novruz Preparations – Part 1

Posted by andthenthey on March 28, 2012 1 Comment

It’s that time of year again. Actually, it’s a little after that time of year, but hey, we were busy! It’s Novruz!! Novruz is my second favorite holiday of the year (Christmas is just slightly better). Jesse and I first learned about and celebrated Novruz while we were in the Peace Corps in Azerbaijan. It celebrates the new year that begins on the first day of spring. You can read more about it here. Alma and I spent about an hour today working on our first preparations for our 3rd annual Novruz party.

Working on Novruz eggs — Alma helping me make chocolate syrup, Novruz eggs and empty the dishwasher.

To keep up with my goal of using my time in the kitchen wisely, while the eggs were cooking, I also made a batch of chocolate syrup and worked on cleaning up some of our dishes.

Women in Azerbaijan work very hard to provide an amazing feast for their families. These feasts might happen on each Tuesday before the equinox and an ever bigger feast on the equinox. Like I said, Azerbaijani women work very hard. I started my prep by hard boiling 10 eggs and dying them. Not too hard for the first round of prep.

I love that eggs are part of this Islamic celebration. It really reminds me how truly connected and similar Islam is to Christianity. If only everyone could see it that way. Like Easter eggs, Novruz are dyed various colors.

While Easter eggs are hidden and found, Novruz eggs are part of a different game. Each person picks an egg, then people go around the table trying to break each others’ eggs by tapping them together. The person who has the unbroken egg in the end is the winner!

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: