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Posted by Carolyn on May 19, 2016 1 Comment

The beauty of being a substitute teacher is the flexibility.  I’ve written about this before (here and here), and I still feel the same way.  I love subbing, I love middle school kids.  I love it as my job, and I’m happy with how my life has taken me into this position.

Most of my time is spent doing short jobs – a day here, a day there – and I love those assignments.  I love popping into a classroom and seeing what they’re working on, spending some time with the kids, but moving on.

Right now, I’m smack dab in the middle of an 8 week long-term sub job – covering for a woman who had a baby.  For four weeks, I’ve been getting up everyday, going to the same school, teaching the same kids, planning lessons, grading work, and working.  I love it.

Whenever I start one of these long-term jobs, it feels like I need to relearn how to work.  Before it even begins I need to figure out where the girls will be everyday.  It is a balancing and juggling act that takes some work, but thanks to all the fabulous grandparents, it always works out.  Once I get to the school I need to figure out who to ask for what I need.  I need to build a stock of snacks and other supplies.  I need to recalibrate my body to only getting to use the bathroom and eat at certain times.  Luckily, this time around I don’t have to figure out a pumping strategy.

Now I’m in the groove.  I’ve figured the good times to pee.  I have my stash of rice cakes.  I have a great support system in the classroom and the office when things come up.  I have my essential oils in my Essential Pouch (if you’re wondering, I have rollers of Panaway, Stressaway, Gratitude, and a salve of allergy relief trio).

I know the kids, and the kids know me.  It’s always a tricky transition from sub to long-term sub in classrooms where I regularly sub.  The dynamic is certainly different when I’m the main teacher, and that’s what I am until the end of the school year for these kids.  I can let myself be silly, and let things slide when it’s just a day job.  I have to be more serious and strict when I’m here for a few weeks.  The kids are always a bit surprised in my change in demeanor.

But, here I am.  Twenty days left of school.  Then back to my other job as full-time mom.  I have to be honest and say that I’m not as scared of summer this year.  Last year I was terrified of all the unstructured, unscheduled days looming.  This year, I’m excited to get back to those unstructured, unscheduled days.  I’m looking forward to spending each day with the kids.  I’m looking forward to getting a vacation.  The word vacation definitely means more when there’s somewhere which I will vacate.

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Posted in: a little moment, learned., story telling | Tagged: lifeofasub, subbing, teaching

A Day In The Life – January 13, 2016

Posted by Carolyn on January 14, 2016 Leave a Comment

06

6:52 – I want to remember how every single day Harriet wakes up and asks Jesse for milk in her Dora cup.  I want to remember how she says Doa Bup.  I want to remember how she can point to Dora and Boots, but that she’s never actually seen the show (as far as I know).

9:13 – I want to remember how this morning got away from me and suddenly I was at work and I hadn’t taken any photos of getting ready, dropping the kids off at dad’s house, getting to school, preparing the lessons, drinking my coffee.  I also want to remember these fun kids.  7th graders are so entirely funny.

10:38 – I want to remember how, even as a sub, I get to teach some of my favorite lessons.  The teacher for whom I was subbing didn’t have time to really prepare a lesson, but we texted about what was going on.  I was happy that she was talking about heroes, and I jumped at the chance to do one of my favorite activities about the Hero Cycle.  It’s not a particularly difficult activity, but it really helps the students understand the Hero Cycle.

11:35 – I want to remember this school.  It’s where I did my student teaching, and a big chunk of my subbing.  It has changed a lot, but it has a lot of heart.  The kids are charming and funny and bright.  The staff is full of some of my very favorite people.  It’s also a fancy new building with lots of great things, the least of which is the instant hot water in the staff rooms.  But that hot water tap was pretty great during my two day job there.

12:35 – I want to remember these days of papers to grade, lessons to teach, ideas to share.

2:32 – I want to remember the energy of kids at the end of the day.  They know that freedom is soon theirs, and it’s electric.  It’s like a surge, then they leave and it’s silence.

2:38 – I want to remember raindrops and windows and school buses.

4:18 – I want to remember how Alma is requesting certain songs when we’re in the car.  It used to be the ‘paper song,’ also known as ‘the monkey on your back,’ officially known as “Anyone Else But You” by the Moldy Peaches.  Lately it’s been “The Dreaming Tree” by Dave Matthews, which I obviously love.  She asks lots of interesting questions about the song.  She asks about death and about trees.  She will see a tree out her window and ask if it’s the Dreaming Tree.

4:56 – I want to remember how Alma had a fever for 4 days and didn’t have much appetite.  Seeing her eat a bowl of yogurt while watching Octonauts made me very happy.

5:47 – I want to remember cooking with Jesse.  We make a good team, and it gives us a chance to talk and catch up after our days.  I love that man, and love that we get to do this life together.

6:18 – I want to remember how this girl won’t stop dancing and singing ever, even with a 4 days fever.  Tonight we had a dance party to “Everything is Awesome” because we had a family movie night and watched The Lego Movie and it’s stuck in all our heads.  But it’s true – everything is awesome.

6:33 – I want to remember how much these girls love the bath.  I want to remember Harriet’s curls, especially when they’re wet.

8:49 – I want to remember these tea dates with Katrina.  It does my heart and soul so much good to get out of the house and spend time with her.  Talking about jobs and kids and our lives is so easy and great with Katrina.  We were joined by another sweet friend, Christy, when she happened to come to the teahouse to stock up.  It felt good to talk and laugh and connect with these two wonderful mamas.

Other Days In The Life:
May 12, 2015
September 9, 2015
November 11, 2015

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Posted in: a little moment, created., day in the life, gave thanks., gratitude, learned., parented., story telling, writing | Tagged: a day in the life, day in the life, january, subbing, teaching

Autumn Book Report, 2015

Posted by Carolyn on January 8, 2016 Leave a Comment

And Then They Summer Books

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah.  This was a slam-dunk for me.  It is set in France – check.  It is set during World War II – check.  It deals with motherhood – check.  It is well written – check.

My dad loaned me this historical fiction novel and I absolutely loved it.  It is the story of sisters, mothers, fathers, survival, choices, war, love, and women.  You get to read about the lives of two sisters and their experiences during WWII in France.  They each make their own decisions about how to handle the occupation.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz.  I picked this one up during one of my jobs in a middle school.  To be honest, I grabbed it because I love Dante and thought it might take about his work.  It didn’t really do that, but it was still a very good book.  It is about two teenage boys who meet and become friends.  It is a good coming of age story, and I would highly recommend it to teenage kids, especially boys or those who are interested in LGBT stories.

Love, Nina by Nina Stibbe.  This was a book club book, and it was really good.  I never would have read this if it hadn’t been for book club.  It is an epistolary memoir from Nina’s time as a nanny for a creative, quirky family.  I read it wondering if it had a point, but maybe that was the point.  I laughed out loud in public while reading it.  The characters are incredible and hilarious.

Moon Over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool.  This was another reread.  I love this book so much.  I had Jesse read it, too.  It’s such a lovely story of family and love and community.  The main character is a spunky girl who lands in a mysterious and eclectic town during the Great Depression.  It’s  a Newberry winner, so there you go.

From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg.  Another favorite of mine.  I have read this many, many times.  It has it all – mystery, adventure, art history, strong female characters.

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson.  My book club pick for December.  I loved it.  It’s another young adult novel, but I’d say it’s more for high school than middle school.  It is a lovely story about twins and growing up.  It’s unique because it’s told from both twins’ perspectives – but at different times.  You hear Noah’s story from when the twins were 14, and you hear Jude’s story from when they were 17.  A lot has happened in between, and the story unfolds through both of their narrations.  There is art, love, coming of age, mystery, love, magical realism, ghosts, love, family, and love.  One of my new favorites.

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Posted in: book review, created., gave thanks., learned., writing | Tagged: autumn, book, book love, book report, book review, books, read, teaching, writing

I Love Subbing

Posted by Carolyn on November 5, 2015 1 Comment
I Love Subbing

andthenthey i love subbing 1Truth time.  I love subbing.  It’s taken me years to realize this, but now I’m ready to publicly admit it.

I have been reluctant to admit it, because somehow it feels like a failure.  I didn’t get my masters degree to be a sub.  I got it to be a teacher.  That was the plan, but it isn’t how it’s worked out.  That’s the thing about plans, though, isn’t it?

After Peace Corps, I went back to my job as an assistant teacher for a special needs preschool.  We spent the first week of September setting up our classroom, along with all the other teachers in our building.  I walked down the hall and was jealous of the ‘real teachers’ setting up their own rooms.  I know that I was feeling down about coming home from a grand adventure, and just falling back into the person I was before I left – though I felt different than the person I was before I left.  I wasn’t even a lead teacher, I was just back in my role of assistant.

I decided then, and there, that it was time for a real change.  I looked into teacher training programs, and found one in Eugene that would start in January.  I applied, took some tests, and was in.  I knew I was on the right track as soon as I went to the first day of orientation.

After I graduated, I looked for jobs, but couldn’t find one.  I became a substitute teacher, but kept looking for a ‘real’ job.  I went to graduate school for this.  I went to be a teacher.  I went to have my own room that I could design, and curriculum that I could create, and students who were ‘mine.’  I felt like a fake, like not a ‘real teacher.’  I felt like people looked at me like I just couldn’t cut it, and that’s why I didn’t have a ‘real job.’

I has been almost five years since graduate school, and I’ve had some long-term jobs, but nothing permanent.  For the first four years, this made me feel bad, like I couldn’t cut it.  Every summer I would apply for jobs, and go to interviews, but I was never hired.  It was a self-esteem killer, I’ll be honest.

This past summer, I decided not to even look at jobs that were posted. I came to a very important conclusion and here’s my public declaration: I really, truly love subbing.   I’m not ashamed or embarrassed.

I looked at what I love about teaching and realized that there are three main things – the kids, the curriculum, the learning.  I thought about it, and realized that I get all three of those things as a sub.  These days, I mostly work at two middle schools.

I know the kids.  I have relationships with the kids.  In some ways, I can have better relationships with the kids because I’m not the ‘real’ teacher, the one who gives them grades and who has real expectations on them.  I’m like the fun aunt who comes to babysit.  I’m not saying that I don’t discipline the students – I certainly don’t run a loose classroom (in fact, some students say that the class never works as hard as when I’m there). When I walk through the halls, the kids ask who I’m subbing for and are excited if they’ll have me that day.  They tell my I’m the best sub.

Since I’m in these two schools, the teachers know that I can actually teach.  They don’t just leave videos or worksheets.  They trust me to continue their curriculum, and sometimes, I even get to create my own.  I get to lead discussions, and see real learning take place.

While lots of teachers leave grading for me to do, it’s easily completed in my time on the clock.  As a sub, I don’t ever have to take work home with me.  I leave school when my day is done, and can focus the rest of my day on my family.

I mostly just sub at two middle schools.  I get enough work from them.  They know me, and I know them.  The teachers will set up the jobs days, or weeks in advance (which makes it much easier to find grandparents who can watch my kids while I’m working).

That’s the other thing!  I get to spend so much time with my girls.  I only work 2-4 days a week, so I still get to be with my kids a lot of the time.  I get to take them to school, and pick them up.  I also get to choose when I work, so if one of the girls has an appointment or a program at school, I know that I can be there for them.

So, there you have it.  I’ve spent four years feeling inferior, but I’m done with that.  I’m owning that this is my ‘real job’ and that that’s okay.  It’s something I’m good at.  It’s something I enjoy.  It’s something that gives me time to also enjoy my other ‘real job’ as a mom.

I don’t know what my plan is from here.  Maybe I’ll get a ‘real job’ someday, when my kids are older.  Maybe the perfect job will come around and I’ll have to jump on it.  Maybe I’ll sub forever.  Maybe I’ll stop teaching completely and focus on creating for my shop.  Who knows?  That’s the thing about plans…

andthenthey i love subbing 2d

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Posted in: gave thanks., learned., story telling | Tagged: education, Life, life of a sub, Parenting, subbing, teaching, writing

A Calendar for Alma

Posted by Carolyn on September 29, 2015 Leave a Comment

I got this idea from my friend Jodie (wife of author Anthony St. Clair).  Jodie is a beautiful artist of many things.  She is always creating, and her Instagram account is totally inspiring. I mean, I never thought I’d want to take up cross-stitch again, but she has me thinking about it.  You should totally follow her.

She is homeschooling her son who is Alma’s age.  She posted this photo a few weeks back:

andthenthey calendar jodiesI thought this was a great idea, but that Alma didn’t really need it.  Then I started listening to Alma.  Ever since my parents told her they were taking her camping, she’s been packing and talking all about it.  I have to constantly remind her, “No, Alma, not today.  Not this weekend… in 7 weeks!” and so on.

Today, on the way home from my mom’s house, I ran through EVERYTHING we’re doing in the next three months… “Okay, on Thursday we’re going apple picking.  Then on Saturday you’ll see cousin Liam.  Then we’re having friends over…. (etc etc etc)… then it’s Christmas, then dad’s birthday, then new year’s, then your birthday.”  I think it might have overwhelmed her a little.  Ha!

Anyway, Jodie’s calendar popped into my mind and I asked Alma if she’d like me to make one for her.  Of course she said yes.  So I did.   I’ll add things as they come up, and she can cross off the days.  I hope this helps!

October andthenthey calendarWe’ll put it on the kitchen door where we have lots of other important lists and stuff.  She said she wants it in her room, but her room is crazy town right now, so I know it will get lost or destroyed in there.

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Posted in: created., parented., parenting tips and tricks | Tagged: alma, calendar, children, creating, kids, october, Parenting, teaching

Summer Book Report, 2015

Posted by Carolyn on September 7, 2015 1 Comment

I wish I had paid more attention to all the books I’ve been reading this year since it’s part of my 35 Before 35 deal. Oh well, here are the books I read this summer (to the best of my memory… I suppose if I’m missing something it wasn’t that great anyway).

And Then They Summer BooksAll the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.  One of my top 5 books of all time.  This book is amazing and beautiful and difficult and lovely.  Set in Europe – mostly France – during World War II, it follows three different characters.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but I love child narrators.  Two of the narrators are young people and their stories are told with fragility and depth.  This is a war story, a mystery, a love story.  It broke me and it raised me.  Please read it.

The Girl On the Train by Paula Hawkins.  This one was for book club, but I had already read it.  Fitting with many of the other books we’ve read in book club, it was full of unreliable narrators.  This is an interesting literary idea, but I’m afraid it’s getting played out.  I mean, really, what does it say about our culture is full of books and movies and shows with liars, antiheroes, and despicable people about whom we are supposed to care?  That’s how I felt about this book – I just didn’t really care. I didn’t care what happened to the characters because they weren’t good people.  That being said, I read this book completely and quickly.  It was interesting enough and I supposed I cared about the characters enough to find out what happened.  I just didn’t feel good about it as I was reading it.  Does that make sense?  No, not at all?  Okay, moving on.

The Vacationers by Emma Straub.  I picked this book up on the Lucky Day shelf near the checkout line at the library.  It was a quick, easy, summertime book.  It is about a family who travels to Spain at a very turbulent time in all of their lives.  Not literature by any stretch of the imagination.  Completely predictable, yet enjoyable.  The characters were simple, but at least they were honest!

Great House by Nicole Krauss.  I love Nicole Krauss.  Obviously, since I named my daughter after some characters in The History of Love. I’ve been meaning to read this book for a long time, and earlier this summer I found myself at the library by myself with time to actually venture beyond the children’s section.  I picked it up and started it right away.  The story was interesting and enthralling.  It is about a desk and its owners and how they are connected through wars and across continents.  I really liked the story, and that kept me reading.  The writing I could barely handle.  Krauss used eternal paragraphs, and this just got under my skin.  It was difficult to read, the long paragraphs, the dialog not traditionally broken up.  But I kept with it and I’m glad I did.  This is a story that I love.  It raises questions about loss, memory, and what we are leaving for our children along the way.  It is a beautiful piece of literature full of amazing words and sentences crafted by a true artist.

Sisters, Long Ago by Peg Kehret.  This is one of those ridiculous things about childhood.  I borrowed this book from my best friend Susan Schoenfeld when we were probably in 5th grade.  I know this because her name is still in the cover.  Meaning I actually stole this book from my best friend Susan Schoenfeld.  Sorry, Sue-Sue.  I can mail it to you if you want it back.  But it’s really not a great book.  It’s just a good book that takes me back to my childhood.  It’s about a young girl who has a flashback to a past life in Egypt.  I’ve read this book probably a dozen times over the years, mostly because it’s there and it’s quick and it’s entertaining.

Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford.  I’m working my way through this book and I am loving it.  It is inspiring and lovely.  I’m sure I’ll do a more complete review in 2016.

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Posted in: book review, gave thanks., learned., writing | Tagged: book, book love, book report, book review, books, teaching, writing

A Letter of Admiration for Middle Schoolers

Posted by Carolyn on February 23, 2015 5 Comments

20141020_083044Dear Middle Schoolers,

I think you’re awesome.  I know that you might not care what I – a stay at home mom/ substitute teacher – think of you, but I just wanted to say it.  I get to spend most of my days with my two little tiny daughters.  I love my job at home with them.  But, I also get to spend a few days a week with you guys.  I have to tell you that I look forward to these days so much.  That is because you’re awesome.  You are caring.  You are bright.  You are funny. You are going to change our world.

20140418_142103When I get to step into your classroom, your turf, you welcome me with such enthusiasm. It is such a joy to walk down your halls and hear you tell me how happy you are that I’m there, or ask whose room I’m in.  You make me feel like part of the team, part of your team.  I love when you ask me about my kids, or tell me you saw me somewhere.  I love seeing you out in public, and seeing the moment of recognition on your face.  Seeing a teacher in public is strange (I remember), and I’m always so impressed with you when you take the time to say hello, or introduce me to your parents.

20140417_104931Having you care about me warms my heart, but seeing you care about each other makes it soar.  Bullying is a big thing in middle schools.  Always has been, probably always will be.  You are trying on different personalities, some good, some bad.  You will make mistakes and treat others poorly, and most of you will learn from it.  This is a time in your lives that you should be given some space to make these mistakes, after all, you are still children.  But, you are also becoming adults, so after you’ve made your mistakes, it is time to learn how to own up to them, and figure out how to make things right.

20140416_145602Every time I’m in your schools, I see you do this.  I see someone care for someone else. You are learning so much more than the Common Core, or the state standards.  You are learning how to be adults.

20140408_133406I love subbing in your schools, because it’s so much fun to see you learn.  You are at an age that you can read a novel, or a memoir, or an article, and have a well-informed discussion about the texts.  You are thinking on a deep level, adding inquiry to your conversations.  Your brains are soaking things up, your hearts are pumping ideas, and your mouths are sharing your ideas, opinions, questions, and realizations with each other.  You are all so bright, and intelligent, and you are all trying so hard.  And that’s what’s important.

20140320_134812I have so much fun when I am in your classrooms.  You constantly crack me up, even when I know I should be serious.  You are at such a fun age, an age when you really develop a sense of humor, and timing.  I know that I can give you a hard time sometimes, and that you will give it right back to me.  You are incredibly random, and that cracks me up.  You make of strange names for me, for no other reason than to let me know that you think I’m cool.

20141106_121005I have heard that some adults don’t really like you.  They think you’re rude, uninterested, self-absorbed, disrespectful.  I think they just don’t get you.  They don’t understand that you are becoming who you are, and that takes a bit of work.  I see that you are interested, and interesting.  If there is a cause that you believe in, I guarantee that there is no one who will work harder to achieve a goal than you will.  You have the tenacity, the motivation, and the energy of a hundred adults when it comes to something you believe in.  You seriously could change the world.   You seriously will.

20140501_123654I wanted you to know that, for whatever it’s worth, you are respected, admired, encouraged, and loved.  I think you’re awesome. I can’t wait to see what you do with our little world.

20140425_130224In Gratitude,

Mrs. Williams (or Carolyn)

20140930_133542

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Posted in: gave thanks., learned. | Tagged: admiration, gratitude, kids, learning, middle school, subbing, substitute teaching, teaching

A Little Moment 10

Posted by andthenthey on April 8, 2014 Leave a Comment

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I am grading persuasive essays. This is actually many of my little moments these days.

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Posted in: a little moment, learned. | Tagged: a little moment, teaching

Friday Gratitudes 11

Posted by andthenthey on March 21, 2014 Leave a Comment

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Friday the 14th: Patience.  I totally lost my voice and my students were amazingly patient.

Saturday the 15th: Novruz!  Fire jumping, egg cracking, baklava eating!

Sunday the 16th: Dad’s. Dinner at my dad’s was great.

Monday the 17th: Voice.

Tuesday the 18th: Fenugreek.  Holy milk.  Thank God for this little miracle.

Wednesday the 19th: Students. I asked a lot from my kids for the last day before spring break and they rose to the challenge beautifully. Mock trials, Socratic seminars.  Amazing.

Thursday the 20th: SPRING!

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Posted in: gave thanks. | Tagged: grateful, gratitude, photography, teaching

A Little Moment 8

Posted by andthenthey on March 19, 2014 5 Comments

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Alma got her third two year molar (only one to go! Yay! ).

Harriet got her very first tooth (ohmygosh still so many left….).

I survived two mock trials, two Socratic seminars, and two movies on the last day of school before spring break.

Jesse is just generally fantastic. 

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Posted in: gave thanks. | Tagged: life of a teacher, middle school, Parenting, Socratic seminar, teaching, teeth
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If God said, ‘Rumi pay homage to everything that has helped you enter my arms,’ there would not be one experience of my life, not one thought, not one feeling, nor any act, I would not bow to. -Rumi

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